THE CLUB SANDWICH SUCKS BUT IT’S MY FAVORITE SANDWICH

Words and photos by wren

Club sandwich at the office. 

With a menu full of overachievers,

it’s not impressive.

The club isn’t grilling meats. You’re not choosing cheese. The tomato on a club has never been in season and it never will. For all marks it’s not a good sandwich, but I really like it. 

She knows who she is and she’s not trying to be anything she’s not. We’re not trying to “compete” with a patty melt. They know each other, they are friends, but there’s no competition. The club has learned to co-exist. Bacon has even joined The Club’s team.

A word on bacon… the bacon feels out of place, right? Was bacon between jobs and doing a solid for The Club? Don’t get me wrong—I’m happy bacon is here. We need bacon. Maybe Bacon’s dad and Club sandwich’s dad play golf together and bacon is doing a favor to get the Club’s career going. 

I think it would be hard to be bacon. You’re a superstar. You’re loved. You’re wanted. You can go to any party and everyone knows your name. But do they really know you? Do you know you? Imagine you had a moment in the 2010’s like bacon did. You’re doing whiskey, you’re doing chocolate, you’re doing popcorn, while still keeping your commitments to breakfast and topping hamburgers. You’re stretched so thin it’s easy to lose yourself. Avocado is definitely having the same issue. 

Sometimes being a superstar is the loneliest place you can be.

The Club is happy to be invited to the party. The club lives in the real world. Grounded. Honda Civic. Coffee at home. Paying AAA membership on time kinda real world.

The real thought here is… if the club wasn’t cut into triangles would the club be The Club? I am embarrassed to say I wouldn’t want an uncut club. Basically a turkey sandwich with too much bread. 

Maybe the real club is the toothpicks with the cellophane. 

Maybe the real club is the oval plate. 

Maybe the real club is the strangeness of having coffee and a club bc when you’re at a dinner you’re not going to not order coffee. 

The Club occupies a place in the heart that soft serve and the Denver omelet lives in. No one has ever made these items at home. Not one will. No one should. 

Happy to be invited to the party.

@wickedwren is a lover of the mundane & absurd. Photographer, writer, metal vocalist. Co-host of The Corn Corner Podcast. Check out Wren’s Good Cup of Bad Coffee substack to read more.